This is a post that’s very difficult for me to write. At this moment in time, I’m listening to sad, depressing music and on the verge of tears. Just two days ago, I lost someone who’s been important to me for a very long time. I didn’t lose them to death. I lost them, because it was a friendship that just wasn’t working out for either one of us. It simply needed to end. But despite the emptiness that I feel within my heart, I can still smile when I think of this person and what we’ve been through.
Focusing on the positives
It would be so easy for me to feel angry, to feel resentful, to regret the time that we had together. But I believe doing that would devalue the impact this person has had on my life. It would mean erasing years and years of friendship, of love, of memories that kept me happy and smiling. It would mean the whole experience was an absolute waste of time.
But I don’t believe it was a waste of time at all.
Like Dr. Seuss said so famously:
“Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.”
And that’s what I want to do from this moment on: smile.
I’m going to smile because this person has helped me get through some horrible times, made me feel loved and so worthy. They cared when nobody else did. That is something that I’ll be eternally grateful to them for.
And although our friendship didn’t work out the way we both hoped it would, I will always be thankful for the relationship that we did have and the memories we will always share together.
Everything happens for a reason
I’ve always believed that everything happens for a reason. I believe that we meet the people we’re meant to meet, that we are confronted with particular challenges to overcome them, that we are stronger than we believe ourselves to be. I believe that every experience is a learning experience.
Sometimes life doesn’t turn out the way we thought it would, but it turns out the way that it’s meant to.
Nothing is a waste of time
Maybe you stayed in the wrong sort of relationship, befriended someone you shouldn’t have, studied a course or worked a job that didn’t work out as planned; but was it all a waste of time? I don’t think so.
Maybe there have been times that we could have made ‘better’ decisions, but none of us are perfect. We are human and we make mistakes. Life doesn’t come with an instruction manual.
So rather than regretting the past, we need to see the brighter side to it. We need to accept that all our past experiences have shaped who we are, and will help to define who we will become in the future.
So no, as much as I’m hurting right now, I don’t think meeting this person was a waste of time. I don’t think going through so much pain and agony over this one person was a waste of time.
I think that nothing is a waste of time.
Every experience can be a meaningful one, but it’s our perception of these experiences that matter.
Thuy Le (formerly known as Thuy Yau) is a freelance writer and Youth Work graduate living in Perth, Australia. She loves to share her own personal experiences about overcoming adversity, as she believes that human beings are more capable than they realise. She writes to make a positive difference in the world and to inspire others to learn from themselves and their own experiences. Her writing has been discussed on radio, won writing contests, appeared on The Huffington Post UK and major Australian sites such as news.com.au, SMH, Kidspot and Essential Kids. She is currently writing her first book.
3 thoughts on “Nothing is a Waste of Time”
It is sad when we lose a friend but sometimes it is necessary to part ways. You just grow apart as your needs change. Years ago I had to break away from the group of guys I hung around with since high school because I wanted more with my life. It was the right choice as my life and career went in a much better path than if I had stayed in my old lifestyle and friendships. I still have fond memories if them though.
I was the same too, Phil. I broke away from my friends in high school as well. I believe that everyone we meet teaches us one or more lessons, and sometimes they leave once they do. It’s a shame for my situation though, because we didn’t grow apart but the circumstances were just very complicated. Thanks for your input, always appreciated!
[…] some of you might know, I’m currently going through a bit of a rough time. A friend, who has meant a great deal to me, for many years, is no longer in my life. […]