Four years ago, someone very close to me lost a loved one. It wasn’t due to illness, it wasn’t due to death. His seemingly perfect relationship with his partner had come to an abrupt end. He lost the girl he thought he would spend the rest of his life with; the woman who he thought had completed him. He’d lost her to someone else. Yet the crazy thing was, I was the one filled with rage… not him. It was clear that I still needed lessons in love, and he taught me a very important one that day.
That first day
When he first told me what had happened, I felt so angry at his former partner. I couldn’t imagine how a person could throw away something beautiful they’d been holding in their hands, for something that had the potential to break their heart into a million pieces. I couldn’t imagine how you could hurt someone to that degree and not give it a second thought.
As we sat side by side, immersed in our deep conversation, he explained to me exactly how he felt. His honesty was compelling; it even drove me to tears, I was crying like a baby.
It was the absolute saddest I’d ever seen him. No previous time had ever come close.
He said to me: “Honestly, I cried about it for a whole day. Then I told myself, ‘If that’s the person that she is, then I don’t want to be with a person like that.'”
Since that day
To this day, he still has the same attitude. It’s never been out of fear of getting hurt, it’s never been because he’s sworn himself off from women. It’s because he’s finally found happiness within himself.
He has enough love and respect for himself, to know that he deserves the same love and respect in return. He’s not going to settle for any less. He is so much better than that.
Rather than focus on ‘finding love’, he is focusing on ‘loving himself’ – doing the things that make him happy, following the career path that makes him smile, regardless of what others think.
He’s living for himself… and not for others.
The greatest love of all.. comes from within
With today being Valentine’s Day, it’s so easy for us to fall into the trap of, “I need someone to make me happy”, “I need to be loved to love myself”, “I need someone to make me feel good about myself”.
But looking at my loved one and what he went through, I know all these statements are, in fact, not true.
The right person can make you feel more confident about yourself, more motivated to achieve your goals, give you more purpose in life. But they shouldn’t be the whole reason for your confidence, your motivation, your purpose. That person needs to be YOU.
The greatest love you could ever possibly feel is the love you feel for yourself.
You need to..
- Believe that you are a good person.
- Believe that you are good at what you do.
- Believe that your voice matters.
- Believe that you are capable of achieving your dreams.
- Believe that no matter how many mistakes you’ve made in the past, you’re still capable of changing the future.
You need to realise that the greatest love of all doesn’t come from your relationships with others, but it comes from within…
When you truly love yourself, you will have the capacity to truly love others.
Thuy Le (formerly known as Thuy Yau) is a freelance writer and Youth Work graduate living in Perth, Australia. She loves to share her own personal experiences about overcoming adversity, as she believes that human beings are more capable than they realise. She writes to make a positive difference in the world and to inspire others to learn from themselves and their own experiences. Her writing has been discussed on radio, won writing contests, appeared on The Huffington Post UK and major Australian sites such as news.com.au, SMH, Kidspot and Essential Kids. She is currently writing her first book.
2 thoughts on “The Greatest Love of All… Comes From Within”
When I read post like this one I am truly skeptical. How so you ask?
Well, it’s very visual in my head, as a poet I’m great at expressing this through metaphors and similes, but in plain English? Damn, that’s tough.
I see the person leaving them as a prison, chains, a dark room where you are locked up. I believe you can adapt to the darkness, some people become good at living in the dark, they learn to function with those chains and live as best they can. But are they able to escape from the prison? To simply walk out? That’s what I question, and that is my skepticism.
Using myself as an example, I KNOW I am still bonded by chains of the past. Somehow I have forgotten that they are there and I live life as best I can, but every once in a while I am reminded that I can’t jump as high as I want because those chains limit my movement.
I hope your friend is truly free from the chains, that is a monumental accomplishment, I hope one day I can do it too! Great post that got me thinking this morning. I decided to reread it more calmly. Here is a poem that speaks of those chains I mention, it’s called “Stormy Weather”..
by Angel Rodriguez
As the Rain descends on his tired soul
He Struggles for balance, as hot turns to cold
He envisions the light, sunshine and April showers
While his darkness endures, he is one with his sorrows
His Bonds disappearing as the rusted chains break
The weakest of links, enter this turmoil, enter his heartache
He Lingers in silence, appearing calm at the surface
His Smile is so big, all the falsehoods projected
With Tear stained cheeks and bloodshot eyes
He’s silenced til death, while he silently dies
Constant confusion, though the skies would seem clear
His Stormy weather, rain, thunder lighting, strong winds only he can hear
That is so true, Angel, it is so hard to let go of the past and to be ‘truly free’. I will, say, though, this person in mind is one of the strongest people I could ever know. A lot of life’s greatest lessons I’ve learned from him. There’s no doubt in my mind that he is at peace with himself.
I loved your poem. Very emotive and it touched me. Keep up that good poetry!
I hope you are able to one day break free from those chains. Until then, stay strong, you’re doing a great job as far as I can tell 😉