Earlier this week, I completed Youth Mental Health First Aid training for my job in Youth Services.

Statistically speaking, given the high level of risk factors I’ve faced in my life, I am more prone to anxiety, depression, substance abuse disorders, self harm, and suicide.

Yet somehow, none of these mental health issues are a part of my daily life.

In fact, I am so incredibly happy, well and grateful. I processed my trauma after only 11 months of counselling – and have continued to thrive many years later.

I’ve always known I was different. When I opened up about my abuse to my then-counsellor after 20 years of holding it inside, she cried.

She said:

“You are extraordinary. Superhuman. The fact that you’ve gone through all this and still remained so positive – I know you are going to be okay.”

In a similar fashion, my Youth Work supervisor at the time also said to me:

“In my 20 years of Youth Work, yours is one of the worst stories I have ever heard. The fact that it involved your family, the fact that the abuse was so horrific, and the fact that you have not told anyone for 20 years.”

For me, I am not defined by the child abuse. I’m not defined by what happened to me, what happened to my body, the innocence that was taken away.

Who I am and who I was to become was defined by the actions that followed.

What shaped me were the decisions I made every day to be a good person.

When I was 10 years old and my primary school teacher had a Project Compassion donation box on her desk, I chose to donate all of my pocket money because there were people suffering much more than I was.

When I was 14 years old and our Religious Education teacher asked if anyone would sign up to 40 Hour Famine, I did because I was grateful I had food at the end of the 40 hours. I knew there were many people who didn’t.

When I was 17 years old, I told myself that I was put on this Earth to help others and it was why I chose to study Psychology.

When I was 20 years old, I steered my career path to Youth Work instead because I wanted to help young people fulfil their potential.

During the past 10 years, I have worked in government housing, child protection, youth housing, rehabilatation, student welfare, and community development for a local government – because I believe we all have a societal responsibility to make the world a better place to live in.

I never needed or wanted illicit drugs to numb my pain, to use money or objects to help me cope, or to live a life filled with covering up any of my pain.

Sadly, many of those who have faced similar trauma, have. And understandably so because the trauma of what we have experienced can often be too painful to bear.

For me, I chose to live my life with purpose and meaning. This is what has kept me positive. To be a 14 year old running 25 websites because I wanted to do something valuable with my time. To be a 15 year old who was offered a freelance web design job by someone impressed by her work. To have had my work published in a magazine at 16.

To be a young Mum who encouraged my kids to give to the homeless. To be a positive role model for others simply through how much I cared.

To have been a stay at home Mum juggling her Youth Work studies and juggling her freelance journalism career.

I’m by no means perfect – I have made mistakes. Even I have overcome my own mental health struggles at some stage.

However, who I am today is definitely a response to how I consciously chose to live my life.

When I could have spent my teenage years partying, I chose to work hard on my education and career instead.

When I could have spent my 20s experimenting in relationships, I settled down with a young family instead.

Every day I am proud that I have raised 3 teenagers who know the value of education, a job, working hard, and being a good person and caring for other people. Even though their parents are no longer together, my kids are well adjusted and well behaved teenagers. They make me proud every day.

Even at my lowest, I have continued to show my kids, my family, my friends – that there is hope beyond child sexual abuse.

The fact is – there is more to life than focusing on how you look, what you own, how much money you have, how big your house is.

The true value comes from the impact you have on other people, on your loved ones, in the workplace.

Every interaction you have with someone is the opportunity to impact their life for the better.

So, despite the odds, I am still smiling. I am still positive – no matter what.

Because truth is, whilst I might have experienced a really horrific and traumatic experience – I have also overcome it.

And if I can overcome one of the worst experiences a person can face – I know I have the ability to overcome anything.

Always remember:

“You are the hero of your own story.”