Up until recently, I held onto someone for much longer than I should have. I believed that their presence wasn’t having a negative impact on my life. That I wasn’t suffering in the process. But I wasn’t being honest with myself. How often do we do that? How often do we lie to ourselves because we mistakenly believe it’ll hurt less? How often are we accepting life as it is, rather than doing something about it? How often are we actually being honest with ourselves?

Self-awareness

It’s not always easy being in touch with your emotions. It’s not always easy trying to work out what makes you happy or what doesn’t. But I believe that learning to be more self-aware is a skill that can be practised, and therefore, be improved within time.

I didn’t grow up being encouraged to talk about my feelings and emotions. In fact, I was discouraged from doing it. But I was able to become someone who not only understands what they’re feeling, but embraces their ability to do so.

I think we can tap into our self-awareness by asking ourselves the questions that we’ve been afraid to answer all along.

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For example:

Am I actually happy, or just content with my life?
Am I happy in my relationship?
Am I working a job that makes me feel good about myself?
Am I surrounded by people who bring out the best in me?

I know it’s easier said than done to make changes to your life. I understand that knowing what you want doesn’t equate to simply having it. Life just isn’t that easy.

But I believe it’s often easy to just go through the motions – to be alive, rather than actually live.

It’s often easy to settle because it feels safe and comfortable. But is this truly how we want to live?

What if the future we wanted was just a step away? What if admitting to ourselves that we’re not happy is the key to embracing change?

Letting go

I’m still in the process of letting go of this person completely. I’m still in the process of realising that I’m better off. But that’s the true nature of change. It takes time to let go of the past, to celebrate the present, and to embrace the future.

Are you being honest with yourself?

People often say that life is short, so I believe we shouldn’t waste any more time living a life that makes us unhappy.

For me, I thought I needed this person in my life but I didn’t. What I wanted was to hold onto this memory of them – this memory that encapsulated so much of my past. But I was living in the past. I was too afraid to move forward. The thought of letting go terrified me. I didn’t believe that I could let go. But I am doing it right now.

I believe all of us deserve to have a life that makes us truly happy.
A life that makes us want to get out of bed in the mornings.
A life that makes us feel good about ourselves.
A life that doesn’t just consist of us going through the motions.

Rather than believe that sort of life is impossible, maybe it’s time we try to work out how to make it possible?

I’ve spent a good portion of my life feeling down about myself, but I made the conscious decision years ago never to feel that way again.

You can make that conscious decision too.

You can make it – firstly – by being honest with yourself.

Don’t deny yourself the life you truly want, for fear of disappointing or hurting other people.
Don’t deny yourself the life you truly want, for fear of failure.
Don’t deny yourself the life you truly want, because it’s easier to stay exactly where you are right now.

I probably should have been honest with myself a long time ago, but that doesn’t matter now. All that truly matters is that I’m being honest now.

The sooner you’re honest with yourself too, the sooner you can start living the life that you want and deserve.