Trigger warning: Child abuse, sexual assault

For many adults, childhood was a delightful time filled with fun, play and beautiful memories.

It was probably a time where many didn’t have a care in the world.

My childhood was anything but carefree.

My childhood was not being able to go to sleep in case I got woken up again to do what I didn’t want to.

My childhood was being sworn to secrecy.

Until my late 20s, I hated having long showers because the sound of the water running against my body meant I was 5 years old again, being pushed up against a wall with a hand clasped hard on my mouth.

Until my late 20s, I would cry just at the sight of Vaseline because me screaming “No!” when I was now 10 years old had become so etched into my memory that I felt even disgusted with myself. The pain was so excruciating I could barely go to the toilet. I thought I was to blame for letting it happen.

Until my late 20s, I couldn’t speak up, say no, have a voice because I thought for so long that I didn’t matter. That I had to keep everyone else happy. That I was a bystander to my own life and existence.

Until my late 20s, I kept a painful, horrific secret. So horrific that a Youth Worker of 20 years gasped when I shared the details of he did to me. For years.

In a room with other people. With Vaseline. With threats, with bribery.

As he told me that he loved me.

My story is not unique. There are so many others whose lives have been turned upside down from the trauma that is child sexual abuse. Or from sexual assault.

This story is unique to me though, and it is what has shaped me into the empathetic person I am today.

This story is also one of resilience, of insurmountable strength, of the refusal to let this define her.

This story is mine to tell. That I have learnt to tell without crying any more, without breaking down, without feeling that I am back there all over again.

Because I am no longer a scared little girl, or little teenager.

I am no longer a 20 year old pretending everything is OK to appease other people, to sweep this disgusting behaviour under the rug.

I am the almost 40 year old adult who has processed the trauma and continued to thrive, telling her story to be the voice for others who can’t.

I am the almost 40 year old who knew she wanted to spend her life helping others at just an early 17 years.

I am the 15 year old who created and ran 25 websites in her spare time because she wanted to do something productive with her life.

I am the 14 year who donated her pocket money to Project Compassion, the 15 year old who raised hundreds for World Famine.

I am proud of the person I have become. Who has written a book and is trying to secure a publisher.

Whose writing has appeared on reputable news outlets, whose writing has inspired others.

Whose work in Community Services and Community Development has literally saved lives.

But this isn’t just about me.

It is the story of so many others too. In fact, it is now about the story of those who expressed so much bravery in speaking up during the Royal Commission into Institutional Responses to Child Sexual Abuse.

These stories, both individually and collectively, is why Child Safeguarding matters. Why child safeguarding is everyone’s responsibility.

Why I am leading the child safeguarding work for my local government.

Why the National Principles for Childsafe Organisations is so important.

Why the Reportable Conduct Scheme is so important.

Why the National Redress Scheme is so important.

Why I will keep transforming my negative experiences into positives ones.

As adults, the world we are creating now for our children is the world that will shape their future and decide whether they can fulfil all their potential.

Child safeguarding isn’t just the prevention of abuse, it is the proactive attempt to work hard to create meaningful outcomes for our children.

Society benefits most when children become adults who contribute meaningfully to the world, who utilise their strengths, who make the world a better place to live in.

Child safeguarding is more than just policy and process. It is more than just working with children checks.

It is the conscious effort to take into consideration how a child’s safety and wellbeing could be affected in any situation.

It is making them feel valued, feel safe, feel happy – so that when life isn’t going their way, they know who to come to!

Include children in consultations. Ask for their feedback.

Help them to understand their rights and responsibilities.

Plan activities that are fun, engaging.

Talk to them like they matter because they do!

Let them say no and not feel forced to hug or kiss others!

Validate how they’re feeling.

Write childsafe policies.

Pay attention to your gut instincts – if something doesn’t feel right, then let someone know!

I know first hand that if I felt I had even one adult who I truly trusted, I wouldn’t have kept my secret inside for 20 years.

I know first hand that whilst I have lived a very happy and fulfilled life, I was able to achieve this despite what happened to me.

But it is the despite that is not good enough.

Right now, at this very moment, there is a child out there, probably even children, who is at risk of being harmed or abused.

The incredible thing is that we have this opportunity to change their future. Right now.

To shape whether they get the future they deserve. To “put an end to abuse before it even starts”. To not ignore gender based violence. To not have become someone who thrives despite all they have faced and been subjected to.

I am a living example that there is hope beyond child abuse.

But I am also a living example that child safeguarding is a shared responsibility.

That we can all play our part in ensuring that children feel safe, valued and happy.

As a Mum of 3 teenage girls and someone who works with young people, I feel privileged to have this responsibility.

We can choose to look at child safeguarding as something scary, something too uncomfortable to talk about – or we can view this as an opportunity to enact real change.

The future of our children is up to us.

Be part of the solution.