One of my children asked me an interesting question recently.

She asked if I have stayed in contact with any of my friends from high school.

I thought for a moment then told her:
“No, I haven’t. There are a few I used to have on social media but no, most of my friends I’ve met through work.”

This question then brought me to a sudden realisation. It has been almost 20 years since I graduated high school!

A quick Google of my school led me to the news that my graduating high school class will be celebrating our 20 year reunion soon.

Whilst it is remarkable and feels surreal I graduated two decades ago, I actually have no interest in attending. My reasons are pretty simple and ones I am very happy and at peace with.

High school wasn’t an unpleasant time for me. I had plenty of friends, nothing too monumental happened, I even went to a reasonably good quality school. It wasn’t perfect – no school is – but the school worked hard to adhere to the school curriculum, had some quite inspiring teachers who made an impact on me, and enforced school discipline and taught us to grow into great leaders.

However, even with the benefits it offered, my memories of high school are quite entrenched in the teachers I formed connections with – the many teachers who have since passed. I recall using lunch times to talk to teachers on duty because I found myself bonding more with them than my own classmates.

It wasn’t that my classmates didn’t have their own unique stories or personalities – I just found that the way I saw life was very different.

I was a 17 year old who wanted to start my career as soon as possible, who had been eager to run her own business at 15, who was running 25 websites at 15.

I actually loved and embraced the part of education that focused on learning and growth. It actually drove me nuts being in class with any students, even my own friends who loved to talk away whilst teachers were teaching. I remember telling my friend I wish I could just graduate now and enrol in university early.

When I eventually went onto university as a 17 year old, I found my friends ranged from the ages of 21 to 55 years old. I felt I had finally found my true bonds. People who understood me.

I recall a conversation with a new friend from university who was in his 40s telling me:
“It sounds like what you need from a future partner is someone on your intellectual level.”

That friend was right. Today I am very happily married to a man I met in my 30s who told me:
“All I ever wanted was a woman on my intellectual level. I finally found that in you.”

I spent so many years during and after high school wondering if there was something wrong with me – was I being antisocial or arrogant by not associating with the group I went to high school with? Whilst yes, I still stayed in some contact with some classmates – was it ridiculous of me to have no interest in increasing this contact?

As someone who is now inching closer to 40 years old, I feel happy and at peace enough to know the answer is no. Absolutely not.

In life, we are bound to come across people we butt heads with, or sometimes, people we may not dislike but with whom we are simply just different. We can’t possibly have a strong connection to everyone.

We should be respectful to everyone, value everyone’s opinions. But it does not mean we have to have force connection where it isn’t there.

It’s okay to respect and be civil to others – and still have no yearning for the relationship to be any more.

The crazy thing is, I have found many more meaningful relationships in my workplaces over the past 10 years than I have throughout any of my earlier education. Even when running into some of my older classmates over the years, I have found my earlier assessments to be true – we had been on the same educational path, but our worlds were just different and that is okay!

The amount of passionate, like minded people I have worked with is an endless list. Even in my current role for a local government, I’ve gotten to know and bonded with so many people from different business areas who I can see myself wanting to remain in touch with for years to come.

Having the high school experience that I did taught me that it is perfectly okay to be yourself, to do the things that make you happy, to be different in a world that often pressures you to follow the pack.

Whilst I had every opportunity to spend my school lunch times with my friends, I actively sought out the library and read books during lunch.

Whilst I had every opportunity to go out regularly with friends outside school, I still saw my friends but also found time for my other hobbies.

Whilst most of my classmates were talking about boys, make up and clothes – I spoke passionately about drug busts in Bali and the likelihood that the accused were blackmailed or not.

To this day, I will happily go out with family; with friends and have a good time – but I am also determined to live a life with purpose and meaning through my work. It’s the purpose and meaning that brings me real joy, that reminds me that our time on Earth is limited.

And due to this time limit, I will spend my time with the people I want to see, doing the things I want to do, and being content with moving forward than looking back.

Whilst I can appreciate that 20 years can change a person especially in their formative years, I also appreciate that I have so many individuals in my life who make my life what it is.

I have the best friends I could have ever asked for – who challenge me to be the best possible version of myself.

I have an absolutely incredible husband who sometimes differs from me in certain ways – but it’s that difference that helps us to grow together.

My life as a Mum gives me purpose and meaning every day.

Since attending my 10 year reunion a decade ago, I’ve become a much more confident version of myself. I don’t struggle with saying no anymore, I know how to set boundaries, and I am comfortable with doing what is best for me. The only opinion and validation I need is my own. I am proud of the person I have become because I have worked extremely hard to get here.

I will always be grateful for the time I had during high school but I am even more grateful that it was only a part of my story.

My story is only truly beginning now, as I continue to make growth in my relationships, career and happiness.

As I continue to pave my own way, as I continue to work on the legacy and impact I want to impart on the world of Community Development.