There was a period in my life when I thought I was worthless, useless, a horrible waste of space. I thought that I was incapable of bringing any good to this world, that nobody would love me for who I am, that my opinion simply did not matter. But I managed to get myself out of the hole that I was in. I realised that I was important; that my purpose in life was to help others lead happier lives. I finally realised, after a long period of emotional suffering, that I really wasn’t better off dead. Sadly, though, not all stories end as happily as mine.
The amazing birthday party
A few weeks ago, I wrote about a good friend of mine who is incredibly loving and caring. I discussed the horrible situation that she is in and the domestic violence in her former relationship that has taken a toll on her emotional and physical health.
Despite what she’s been going through, she recently amazed me with her dedication and love towards her daughter, who just celebrated her birthday last week.
Yesterday, she organised the most elaborate and well-thought out birthday party that I have ever attended. And it was also, by far, the most enjoyable. She creatively decorated the children’s drink bottles, party bags and piñata; provided an assortment and multicultural variety of food both for the children and adults, made the cake herself, thought of every little possible detail. Everyone was in agreement that the party was absolutely amazing.
She did all that elaborate planning… all on her very own.
The kindness of others
But what made me smile yesterday wasn’t just the birthday party itself. It was the kindness of her friends.
Yesterday, I saw incredibly kind-hearted people who helped her unpack the car, set up tables, and get the food all nicely organised.
- I saw women who’d spent hours cooking for my friend’s daughter, making beautiful Peppa Pig cupcakes and delicious meals in the process.
- I saw a fellow mother who’d set aside three days to help my friend prepare for the birthday party.
- I saw my family and I arrive extra early to the park, just so she could secure a shady spot under the gazebo.
- I saw my husband busy cooking sausages on the barbecue, just so she could focus on enjoying the day.
- I saw her friends take on the role of photographer, just so she could forever have the beautiful memories.
- I saw people who were willing to do anything and everything, just to make my friend’s day just a bit easier.
I saw people who love my friend and her daughter so very much.
Reminding her that she’s loved
Whenever my friend is feeling affected by the psychological pain of that man’s words, I ask her rhetorically, “Why would someone like me – a mother of three young children, who also works from home, who has her own problems to contend with – spend so much time caring about her?”
Photo Credit: Witthaya / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
And I answer my own question by reminding her that it’s because she’s an amazing person. That she is worth my time. That I dropped everything to visit her last week, despite recovering from surgery, because I think she’s worth it. I do all this for her, because I believe, without a doubt, that every disgusting and vile word that man said to her was an utter lie. And I will do everything I can to help her realise how amazing she really is.
You are more important than you realise
Sometimes we go through life experiences that lead us to question our worth. Sometimes we come across people in our life who make us feel worthless.
But sometimes it takes a day or just one fine moment, to remind us how important we really are.
All of us feel down at some point, we might feel abused, neglected, worthless, and/or unloved.
But as hard as it may be to fathom, we are so much more important than we realise.
- You know your loved one who drops everything to see you? They think you’re worth their time.
- You know your loved one who helps you out just because you ask? They don’t expect a reward, they just want to make you happy.
- You know your loved one who spends hours on a project for you? They’re just excited about seeing the smile on your face.
- You know your loved one who helps you celebrate your birthday – taking you out for dinner, shouting you drinks, buying you well-thought out gifts? They do it because they’re glad to have you in their life.
If ever you question whether you are truly loved – look to your family and friends to find your answer. Look to those whose lives you’ve touched, those who are better people because of you, those who you inspire with your generosity and love. Those who would miss you if you were gone.
All of us have touched at least one person’s life that way. And I bet we’ve even touched more lives than that.
Don’t let the bad times and the bad moments lead you to believe that you’re not important.
You are so much more important than you realise.
Thuy Le (formerly known as Thuy Yau) is a freelance writer and Youth Work graduate living in Perth, Australia. She loves to share her own personal experiences about overcoming adversity, as she believes that human beings are more capable than they realise. She writes to make a positive difference in the world and to inspire others to learn from themselves and their own experiences. Her writing has been discussed on radio, won writing contests, appeared on The Huffington Post UK and major Australian sites such as news.com.au, SMH, Kidspot and Essential Kids. She is currently writing her first book.
8 thoughts on “You are More Important Than You Realise”
Your friend is blessed to be surrounded by so much love… and also to have a friend like you to help you realise it. I rarely stop to think about the people I encounter everyday, but I hope I am making a difference in their lives in some small way. But maybe I am, as you say sometime we may just not realise it
I bet you are making a big difference to many lives, I believe we all are. All the kindness that you show to another person is likely to mean the world. Thank you so much for your kind words, and for dropping by! 🙂
Another great post! Your friend sounds like she has a terrific support system of friends. Family and friends make a big difference when going through a tough situation. We are all importaant to someone, but sometimes we need to be reminded of that.
That’s right, Phil. It’s when we’re going through a bad time that we realise who our true friends are. Thanks for reading! You are awesome! 😀
I agree with everybody’s comments here, you are such a true friend. “And I will do everything I can to help her realise how amazing she really is.” – you are a friend that must be treasured and that is your greatest gift!
Aww, thank you very much, Patricia! I think it’s very important to be a good friend to each other. Life is full of ups and downs – we can help one another get through it all. Thanks for reading! 🙂
It’s funny to me, our conversations are usually very light, silly and downright humorous. As I read this post, (I’m playing some soft, melancholic Japanese compositions in the background, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HgssPdtjzSA ) I feel nearly moved to tears. I even forget that I am reading the words of that friend I often goof off and spend so much time joking with across the pond and then some.
I kind of needed this, I think maybe that is why I am now wiping tears from my eyes. I’ve been stressed, feeling down on myself, trapped by memories and thoughts that continually torment me. I have not reached a point where I consider jumping in front of a train, but I have felt deep sadness.
Last night I had a dream that I saw someone from my past, a person I have wanted to speak with for nearly a decade and a half, a person that removed me from their lives. The desperation I felt when I saw her in the dream came with me to my waking hours. So I’ve been struggling with sadness.
Tears of a clown. In any case, reading this helped me release some of those tears. It reminded me that I must be making an impact to someone’s life, even when I myself feel like crap. So, than you for the momentary relief my good friend.
Angel, it’s honesty like yours that makes the world a better place. It’s always painful having to relive memories of the past, and sometimes questioning why things happened the way they did. But yes, you are most definitely making an impact on other people’s lives. I know this first-hand because although we are countries apart, I have come to know you as an incredibly caring and hard-working person who has a big future ahead of them. I’m glad that we can have light-hearted conversations and serious ones too. Don’t ever forget how amazing you are! 🙂