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May 16

Is There Ever a ‘Right’ Decision?

Posted on May 16, 2012 by Thuy Yau

Every day, we are forced to make decisions. Some, more thought-provoking than others. But every single decision has an element of uncertainty because we never truly know if we’re making the ‘right’ one.

As a mother of three, I try my best to do what’s ‘right’ for my children. Every decision I make is based on thorough consideration. But no matter how much I plan, how much I deliberate; I can only do so much.

When I look back on my last 5 years of parenting, there are some decisions that I’m glad I made, others I could’ve done differently.

But I don’t think there is such a thing as a ‘right’ decision. I believe that when you think things through, weigh up the pros and cons, and come to a well-thought out decision; then you are doing the best you possibly can.

Not achieving the desired results does not make it a ‘wrong’ decision; making a hasty decision is what does. Don’t be hard on yourself and dwell on the undesirable results, commend yourself for thinking it out so well in the first place.

Choose your decisions wisely; think things through and consider all the consequences.

I believe if you give yourself the chance to ponder all the possibilities, you are less likely to be filled with regret. And in turn, able to do what is ‘right’… for YOU.

Thuy xox

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May 04

Feelings & Emotions: The Value of its Expression

Posted on May 4, 2012 by Thuy Yau

For many centuries, there has been the philosophical debate that men are superior to women. Those that uphold this opinion argue that women are too ‘emotionally weak’; that they let their emotions control the decisions they make in life. But I believe this isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

Growing up, I was never given much opportunity to express my feelings and emotions. I was made to feel that by doing so, I was portraying yourself to be weak and vulnerable. But the more I was forced into suppression, the more I rejected this view. As young as I was, I knew that it was my right as my human being to look after my emotional health.

Being able to express your feelings and emotions, to me, is a strength rather than a weakness. It means that you have a high level of self-awareness. Being able to understand that you’re feeling ‘lonely’ or feeling ‘sad’, means you might be more likely to do something about it.

There are other advantages to expressing your feelings and emotions. One, being the ability to tell others how you feel about them. We all lead such busy lives, but sometimes we forget that life is short too. Just telling others how much you love them or how proud you are of their accomplishments, could bring a smile to their face. Sometimes people just need that reassurance.

Expressing the way that you feel could further strengthen your relationships with others. It could help to reduce or resolve conflict; being able to tell someone you’re upset and why, could be the determining factor in the resolution. By being more aware of yourself, you could be helping others as well.

I think the value of expressing feelings and emotions is often underestimated. Society spends too much time thinking “women cry too much” or “men get too angry”, to appreciate the fact that it’s good to be expressing these emotions at all. The focus should not be on whether expressing feelings and emotions is wrong, it should be on why a person is feeling the way that they are… and what can be done about it.

Thuy xox

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Apr 22

Quality of Life: For Our Children

Posted on April 22, 2012 by Thuy Yau

I am often asked whether I plan to expand my family further, whether I would like to “try for a boy”. But for my husband and I, we are incredibly happy with what we have. There is one main reason as to why a family of five is right for us; this being the quality of life we want for our children.

Every person has the right to a high quality of life; to feel happy and satisfied with the conditions that they live in. And I believe that children deserve to be brought up in an environment where they feel financially secure, safe and happy. No child should feel like they are deprived of basic human needs like food or clothing; it is their right to have these things.

As a mother of 3, I know how difficult it is to raise a family in this day and age. House prices are soaring, the cost of living is rising; it is a struggle just to survive. So I want to be able to provide my children with the basic necessities that they have a right to possess, whilst also enjoying luxuries that I feel they deserve. Children need more than just food and water, they need to know that it’s okay to want things. I want my daughters to be more than just content; I want them to be HAPPY.

And this happiness that I want my children to attain is not about having all the money in the world. It’s about raising them in a safe environment, teaching them good morals to follow, giving them enough finances to pave the way for their future. I think all children in the world deserve that quality of life… it’s just up to US to be able to give it to them.

Thuy xox

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Apr 19

The Truth Behind Unsolicited Advice

Posted on April 19, 2012 by Thuy Yau

It was once said: “Those who know the least will always know it the loudest”. I believe this statement is very true. Some people find it difficult to keep their opinions to themselves and will go to extreme lengths to express it. But the irony lies in that their opinion may not be of any substantial value, as it is based on ignorance and lack of knowledge.

Since the birth of my first child, I have been bombarded with all kinds of parenting advice. Some I’ve taken on board but some I’ve disregarded. A lot of it was unsolicited; many assumed that because I was 18, I ‘obviously’ didn’t know what I was doing.

Looking back, I am incredibly grateful of all the advice I was given; I was lucky to be surrounded by people that cared and wanted the best for me. But at the same time, I believe that everyone has the right to decline advice if they feel it isn’t right for them.

Different things work for different people, so the given context should be taken into consideration. I may have been 18, but I was very sensible at the time and never gave up when things got hard. I was wiser beyond my years; it showed when I self-diagnosed my daughter’s speech delay at 8 months! I always made sure I asked for help, but only when I felt I needed it.

I think sometimes people need to be given the chance to TRY. It is so easy to put our 2 cents in when we believe we know better, but we need to give others the chance to learn for themselves. There is no ‘right’ way for everyone; just the right way for a person in a certain situation.

Life is a big learning curve; we won’t always get it right. But other times, we might. So be supportive of one another and be there when you are needed. The best thing you can do for others is give them the chance to learn… and watch them become the best person they can possibly be.

Thuy xox

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Apr 15

The Extent of Unconditional Love

Posted on April 15, 2012 by Thuy Yau

It’s amazing how much you learn about yourself once you become a parent. You discover how capable you are, how much you’re willing to sacrifice, and your ability to love unconditionally. My 3 children have taught me the value of each of these.

I often hear people coin the phrase “supermum” when they see a mother doing a exceptional job at raising their children. I have been called that several times before. But for me, it’s not about what I am but what my children are to me.

All three of my children have special needs; one of which is a speech delay. Most of my time is spent attending appointments; absorbing the information given to me and implementing the strategies at home. Some days are harder than others, but I continue to persevere because I would do anything for my children.

The love for my children has no boundaries. It is unconditional. I can feel it in my heart when I’m rushing to appointments, when I’m patient with them, when I’m enunciating words to help them understand. The extent of my unconditional love is clear when I am willing to do absolutely anything to ensure my children have a better future.

Thuy xox

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Apr 13

People’s Choice Award: PLEASE VOTE!

Posted on April 13, 2012 by Thuy Yau

After a year of sharing my experiences, I have decided to enter the Sydney Writers’ Centre Best Australian Blogs 2012 competition.

I will be judged under:
- Best Parenting Blog
- Best Young Blogger
- People’s Choice Award

The People’s Choice Award votes will depend on all of my supporters; the readers who have made my blogging experience so worthwhile.

I cannot tell you how happy it has made me to touch all your lives.

So, I’m asking you all now, please VOTE by clicking on this button:

People's Choice Award

Voting ends: Wed 9 May 5pm EST

Thank you so much for your support. Prizes include writing courses, which will help me launch my writing career.

Thuy xox

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Apr 13

Change: How It Affects Our Decisions

Posted on April 13, 2012 by Thuy Yau

All my academic life, I’ve been taught that the sole purpose of education was to discover that ONE career. That everything we did would eventually lead us onto a path that never strayed. This, I know now, is far from the truth.

Since the birth of my 3 children, I have changed so much – emotionally, physically and mentally. My values, my priorities, my perspectives; are completely different now. And it’s these significant changes that now affect the decisions that I make.

As time goes on, even our interests change – from what we watch on television to whether we watch it at all. Who we are and what we enjoy, is a great indication of where we want to be. And if a past time like watching television can change, then so can the decision for our career path.

I no longer believe that there is that ONE career that we have to do, or that ONE path that we have to follow. I believe that we follow the paths that make us happy at the time, even if they could end up making us unhappy too.

We choose the career that we think will make us happy, we live in the town we think we will enjoy living in. Making these types of choices isn’t living life recklessly, it’s about choosing to realise that life doesn’t always follow a set plan.

We might become a painter just like we dreamed as a child, or the doctor we later studied to be. But ultimately, we make the decisions that make us happy at the time.

Because with change, comes different decisions. And by being open to every opportunity that comes our way, we are giving ourselves the best chance at happiness.

Thuy xox

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Apr 10

Envy: How It Limits Success

Posted on April 10, 2012 by Thuy Yau

I’ve always believed that in order to be successful, you must focus less on others and more on yourself. A person learns to perform at their best through challenging themselves and reflecting back on their weaknesses. That is why I think ‘envy’ has no place in success.

To be envious of someone else and yearn for what they have, you are doing yourself a great disservice. You are placing yourself in completely different circumstances, wondering what COULD be when the focus should be on HOW you can get there.

In the past, I’ve formed many different friendships, only to have them dissipate because of envy. The people involved were too proud to admit that my happiness made them far from happy, that they wanted everything that I had. And by letting the envy get to them, they became in less control of their futures.

For me, I find myself happy for those who are successful, regardless of whether they are a part of my life or not. I would much rather be happy for them than to waste my energy – angry and resentful. Life is too short for that.

But if you ever do compare yourself to others, let the comparison be to help challenge you. If you see someone with a life that you aspire to have, strive to have it. Let it set your goals for success. And instead of criticising them for being successful, congratulate them on their achievements.

Because in the end, we are all living the same life, with the same aspirations. And it is through challenging ourselves and recognising our own accomplishments, we will ultimately achieve success.

Thuy xox

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Apr 08

Living in a Judgmental Society

Posted on April 8, 2012 by Thuy Yau

For each of us, it is a natural human response to be curious about those around us. Some people are intrigued about celebrities in magazines, some enjoy gossiping about people they personally know, whilst others comment on strangers they’ve encountered in passing. But sometimes these behaviours go beyond what is deemed appropriate and acceptable.

Life is so full of ups and downs, it’s often hard to know whether you’re making the right decision at times. But to have others question what you’re doing and pass judgment on the decisions that you make, is often too difficult to handle.

As a stay-at-home mother, I know perfectly well how judgmental people can be. Many assume the level of my abilities based on my age; believing that a 23 year old could not possibly raise 3 children. But boy are they wrong. My husband and I have looked after our children every single day for the past 5 years, with absolutely no help from anyone. We are dedicated, loving parents; who always put their children first.

People often find it easier to judge and assume than to view a world beyond ‘black and white’. But to base your opinion of someone on ignorance and stereotypes, can be very harmful to the person involved.

Every person deserves the right to be understood and not to be unfairly judged. When you take the time to give people a chance, you might see that they are not at all like they seem. And then maybe the judgment you feel towards them… might later become acceptance and understanding.

Thuy xox

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Mar 13

What It Really Means to Be a Parent

Posted on March 13, 2012 by Thuy Yau

It is often commonplace to associate parenting with nappies, feeds, and the endless amount of toys. But there is so much more to parenting than that. For me, being a parent is about maintaining a child’s innocence, while at the same time, shaping who they later become in life.

I am often complimented on how well-behaved my children are. And this is a compliment I gladly accept, simply because it is something I work on everyday. As a ‘stay at home mother’ of three, I pride myself on teaching my children manners, morals and respect for others, as well as themselves.

I believe that when you a parent, you not only have a responsibility to your children, but to other children as well. The things you teach your children could directly or indirectly have an impact on others, and that is something I take very seriously.

Children will sometimes stray, do things out of character or out of the norm; but in part, we must accept responsibility for their actions. As parents, WE are the ones teaching them right from wrong. WE are the ones modelling behaviour for them. WE are the ones showing them how to treat other people.

When I look at my children, I am so incredibly proud to be their mother. Like all children, they have their moments, their tantrums, and their unpredictable behaviour; but I know that I am doing the best job that I can. They always have a smile on their face, enjoy the simple things that children do; but at the same time, are growing up to be such beautiful people. And by realising what it really means to be a parent, I am giving them the best start in life.

Thuy xox

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