About three weeks ago, I attended my husband’s work Christmas party. As always, the venue they’d chosen was beautifully decorated, the food was delicious, and the company was very entertaining. However, what was most memorable had nothing to do with the elegant party itself. Instead, it was what people shared with me about my husband. Two work colleagues, in particular, couldn’t stop raving on about how talented a programmer my husband is. They told me how quick on the ball he was and the fact that he’d done so much for the company. I felt so proud of him, yet the comments didn’t surprise me. I’d always believed in his talents. But for my husband, he was quite surprised by the comments. Here’s an insight into why.
It’s easy to doubt yourself
My husband has been telling me lately how busy work is and how his level of responsibilities have increased in the last few months.
Yet, despite being promoted twice this year, he didn’t quite believe that he’s been doing a good job.
That is – until last week.
He’d had a performance review and his manager praised his performance and how much he’d improved in such a short period of time. It was then that my husband begun to realise how well he’d been doing all along.
It’s interesting, sometimes we look at ourselves and what we’ve achieved – but we struggle to see any progress. We believe we’ve done a lot worse than we actually have.
It’s so easy to get caught up in our ‘failings’ that we forget what our successes have been.
Letting others see you
It’s often emphasised that we shouldn’t be defined by the opinions of others. That we should live by only what we think of ourselves.
But sometimes, we need the emotional support of others to remind us of who we truly are. Who we are capable of becoming.
Sometimes we need that strong, emotional network to encourage and motivate us to believe we do have it in us to achieve what we truly want in life.
When others see you for you
When I was 13 years old, my form class was asked to do a fun activity that involved listing good qualities about our class mates. Our teacher then surprised us at the end of the year with a copy of what everyone had written down. I recall reading my list with a big smile on my face – my classmates had described me as “kind”, “friendly”, and “smart” – qualities I very much valued back then and I still value now.
Sometimes when I doubt myself, whether it be my talents, my skills, or who I am as a person – I remember that list given to me as a 13 year old.
I may not always feel good about myself. I may not always have ‘up’ days. But I still have plenty of people out there who appreciate and love me for who I am. Who understand the kind and caring person that I am. Who see so many strengths in me that I sometimes fail to see in myself.
So, whenever you’re feeling down, just remember – you are a greater person than you realise.
And the people around you, who love and value you – who see you through their own eyes – are a great testament to that very fact.