When You See Yourself Through Others’ Eyes

About three weeks ago, I attended my husband’s work Christmas party. As always, the venue they’d chosen was beautifully decorated, the food was delicious, and the company was very entertaining. However, what was most memorable had nothing to do with the elegant party itself. Instead, it was what people shared with me about my husband. Two work colleagues, in particular, couldn’t stop raving on about how talented a programmer my husband is. They told me how quick on the ball he was and the fact that he’d done so much for the company. I felt so proud of him, yet the comments didn’t surprise me. I’d always believed in his talents. But for my husband, he was quite surprised by the comments. Here’s an insight into why.

It’s easy to doubt yourself

My husband has been telling me lately how busy work is and how his level of responsibilities have increased in the last few months.

Yet, despite being promoted twice this year, he didn’t quite believe that he’s been doing a good job.

That is – until last week.

He’d had a performance review and his manager praised his performance and how much he’d improved in such a short period of time. It was then that my husband begun to realise how well he’d been doing all along.

It’s interesting, sometimes we look at ourselves and what we’ve achieved – but we struggle to see any progress. We believe we’ve done a lot worse than we actually have.

It’s so easy to get caught up in our ‘failings’ that we forget what our successes have been.

Letting others see you

It’s often emphasised that we shouldn’t be defined by the opinions of others. That we should live by only what we think of ourselves.

But sometimes, we need the emotional support of others to remind us of who we truly are. Who we are capable of becoming.

Be_Nice_Because_You_Can_Be

Sometimes we need that strong, emotional network to encourage and motivate us to believe we do have it in us to achieve what we truly want in life.

When others see you for you

When I was 13 years old, my form class was asked to do a fun activity that involved listing good qualities about our class mates. Our teacher then surprised us at the end of the year with a copy of what everyone had written down. I recall reading my list with a big smile on my face – my classmates had described me as “kind”, “friendly”, and “smart” – qualities I very much valued back then and I still value now.

Sometimes when I doubt myself, whether it be my talents, my skills, or who I am as a person – I remember that list given to me as a 13 year old.

I may not always feel good about myself. I may not always have ‘up’ days. But I still have plenty of people out there who appreciate and love me for who I am. Who understand the kind and caring person that I am. Who see so many strengths in me that I sometimes fail to see in myself.

So, whenever you’re feeling down, just remember – you are a greater person than you realise.

And the people around you, who love and value you – who see you through their own eyes – are a great testament to that very fact.

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Thuy Yau is a freelance writer and Youth Work graduate living in Perth, Australia. She loves to share personal stories about overcoming adversity, as she believes that human beings are more capable than they realise. She writes to make a positive difference in the world and to inspire others to learn from themselves and their own experiences. Her writing has been discussed on radio, won writing contests, appeared on The Huffington Post UK and major Australian sites such as news.com.au, SMH, Kidspot and Essential Kids. She volunteers her time as Newspaper Project Manager for Millennium Kids, a youth empowerment organisation.

4 Replies to “When You See Yourself Through Others’ Eyes”

  1. Marie-Gaye Barton says: Reply

    Excellent post. Also I think that the comment referring to being told that we should not define ourselves by others very much relates to those who don’t perhaps share the same values, ideas and ideals as ourselves. Being ‘defined’ or maybe ‘refined’ by those who see us for who we really are, those whose opinions matter, is a huge plus factor, and we should listen!

    1. So very true, Marie-Gaye! Thank you for your fantastic insight!

  2. Just wanted to drop by and wish you and yours a happy and healthy holiday season!

    1. Thank you so much, Phil! We had a great holiday season. Hope you had a really enjoyable one!

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