Many of the people I come across in my life, are generally very shocked to hear how busy my life is. They’ll make comments such as, “You’re wonderwoman!”, “You’re supermum!”. Then they’ll awe in amazement and follow it up with, “I can’t believe you have 3 young kids and write as well… How do you do it?”. Being a mother of 3 special needs children is busy. Working from home is busy as well. Studying, which I just began 2 days ago, is also very busy. But how do I manage being a mother of 3, working from home and studying? What is the fundamental secret to my success? The secret lies in realising that I don’t have to be perfect.
Learning to prioritise
My days are incredibly busy. I’m frantically rushing around, from home to school, to the shops, to appointments; and those are just the physical tasks that I have to do. My mental state, however, is preoccupied with thinking about blog posts I have to write, guest posts I want to pitch, websites that I regularly contribute to, articles I have to write for my freelance writing position, assignments I need to complete.
As busy as my life is, though, I have to make the choice as to which parts of my life are more important, compared to those that aren’t.
All aspects of your life – whether your family, your friendships, your relationships, or your work/career – are important. But sometimes, certain aspects take precedence over others.
Sometimes I’ll have to prioritise:
- Sometimes I’ll end up dropping my kids to school 10 minutes late, because I was up late doing some writing.
- Sometimes I’ll have to see my friends a different day, because my child has an appointment.
- Sometimes a small birthday party is all I can give to my children, because life is too stressful to organise anything else.
Maybe in your own life, you’ll have to push something aside to make way for another task that is more important. That is okay.
Don’t be so hard on yourself
Life gets busy. You can’t do it all.
Even I can’t do it all.
Photo Credit: David Castillo Dominici / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
- I might take my kids to school 10 minutes late sometimes, but that’s a pretty good effort considering I spend many of my nights writing.
- I may have to reschedule time with my friends, but I’m always there when they need a shoulder to cry on.
- I may not have the time or money for a fancy birthday party for my kids, but I make them feel loved every day.
Don’t be so hard on yourself. We are all just like each other – we are simply doing the best job we can.
You dont have to be perfect
I may not do ‘everything’ for my children…
- I may not be the mother who spends hours baking a cake for her daughter’s birthday.
- I may not be the mother who can sew together a shirt.
- I may not be the mother who arrives extra early to her child’s class.
- I’m the mother who will rush her three children from appointment to appointment, with a genuine smile on her face.
- I’m the mother who knew her first child had a speech delay at only 8 months old.
- I’m the mother who is working hard on her career, so her family can have a better life.
- I’m the mother who will study until 3am in the morning, then wake up at 7am for the school run.
I don’t have to be perfect. You don’t have to be perfect. We don’t have to be perfect.
Sometimes, in order to fit in everything else, we have to squeeze out what is less important to US.
So rather than focus on what is important to other people. Focus on what is important to YOU.
And remember… nobody expects you to be able to do everything. You don’t have to be perfect.
This post was featured on Digital Parents.
Thuy Le (formerly known as Thuy Yau) is a freelance writer and Youth Work graduate living in Perth, Australia. She loves to share her own personal experiences about overcoming adversity, as she believes that human beings are more capable than they realise. She writes to make a positive difference in the world and to inspire others to learn from themselves and their own experiences. Her writing has been discussed on radio, won writing contests, appeared on The Huffington Post UK and major Australian sites such as news.com.au, SMH, Kidspot and Essential Kids. She is currently writing her first book.